-= give me a pen =-

Do you have a pen?
Do you have a piece of paper?

Here,
I'll draw you a map of the world.
I'll show you where Italy is.
I'll show you where Sicilly is.

Now,
This is Madagascar,
And this is the Cape of Good Hope.

This where the Atlantic Ocean is,
And this is the line,
Where the Earth is separated in two.

But wait.

This is not what I asked for.

This was written at 11:44 pm on Thursday, March 30

-= sideways always =-

I guess we only realise how much we've been taking things for granted only when they're gone. Who thought what your parents said were actually true?

This was written at 2:47 pm on Tuesday, March 28

-= clouds hide the sun =-

Stewie talking to a drunk Brian lying lifeless on the street.

Stewie: Is that why you've been on this path of self-destruction? You know Brian, as smart as you are, you've got to accept the fact that there are some things in life that you just can't control.

Brian: You mean the way you can't control the messed up way that you laugh when you think something's really really funny?

Stewie: Yes. And I accept that. Your problem is, you think that just because you're not in control, nothing matters. That you don't matter. But you know what? You matter to someone. You matter big time.*sobs*

This was written at 11:14 am on Sunday, March 19

-= what do you want? =-

**** ***.

This was written at 2:29 am on Saturday, March 18

-= i scream, you scream, everybody scream for morphine =-

~~I can't~~ I won't wait forever.

Cos it's in the way you decide things.

Or maybe I ask for too much.

I'm sorry.

You don't deserve this.

Or do I?

I don't know. You tell me.

You should wait.

I should? For what? What's there to wait for?

I don't know. Something good perhaps?

Right.. I doubt it.

But you never know.

No. I think I do.

So you're gonna throw all this away?

I don't know. I don't want to. But.. I don't know.

Why are you feeling this way?

I don't know. Cos you make me?

Me? No. It's you.

Argh! Why is it that I'm always in the wrong? Why is it never your fault?

How can it be mine? I'm your brain. You make me think.

Damn. So I'm the biggest loser then eh?

I guess so. You suck.

Yeah. I know. You know what? Screw it. I've had enough.

Are you sure?

Why do you always have to ask that?

Cos you never are.

Screw you.

Thanks.

This was written at 3:42 am on Friday, March 17

-= open msn messenger =-

Getting caught in between two minds. It's like looking for a suitable portable audio device. Mp3 player or discman? In this case, the perfect solution would be an mp3 discman. Simple eh?

Right.

More often than not, one has to compromise one thing for the other. Basically it's just a matter of which do you want more. Take for example the case between the discman and the mp3 player. Of course, people usually go for mp3 players. It's small, lightweight and easy to use. Or as it may seem. Others go for the discman. Cos they believe in originality. Or for most cases that is. Nothing beats the original cd album that has been carefully produced by the artist itself. However, the discman is heavy, bulky and probably in cases nowadays, labelled as old fashion.

Of course, the mp3 player also has it's downsides. Most are usually fragile. Expensive. And demands lots of power. It's something you have to take care of very well otherwise it will just breakdown and stop functioning properly. Whereas you have the discman that usually provides loyalty and durabilty and usually has lower power consumption and is also much cheaper.

So therefor, you have to decide between one that gives more but at the same time, costs more and demands more while the other provides a sufficent amount of satisfaction and costs less and also demands less. Something that makes people go 'Woah! Look at that cool player.' or something that gives you that quiet satisfaction that you always desire.

If you're trying hard to understand this entry, my advice to you is, go buy an mp3 player. Discmans are out of date. Go with the flow. *thumbs up*

This was written at 11:37 pm on Wednesday, March 15

-= BOUNC3 =-

There comes a time where you've gotta put everything on hold and ask yourself, 'What the hell are you doing?'

And then you think about it. And wonder. 'What the hell am I doing?'

Then you ask again, 'Is it good?'

Then you wonder, 'Why do I feel this way?'

And you ask again, 'Is it good?'

You seem to feel like it isn't. However, it seems like the right thing to do.

And then you go back to the top and ask yourself again, 'Then what the hell am I doing?'

And the whole process repeats it self.

Now that's what I call fun.

This was written at 1:14 am on Tuesday, March 14

-= is a title necessary? =-

Like the mid-month's moon,
Lighting up the clear night's sky.
Like the stars that glow,
Guiding my every journey.

Radiance and awe is what you give,
Peace and calm is what you bring,
Like the skies of my nights,
Always out of my reach.

Be my heart, be my pain,
Be my water, be my fire.
It rains as my heart craves to say,
The two little words, 'embrace me'.

Like the last rays of the setting sun.
The loveless pulse fades away,
This heart beats for itself,
No longer for what it lived for.

And so I stay,
Waiting,
For darkness to call,
To reap me of my love.

This was written at 1:51 pm on Sunday, March 12

-= that sinking feeling =-

My gut is going nuts tonight.

Maybe I was right about things being too good to be true. You know? It's like buying something from Sungei Road. You see this SUper Nintendo. Your eyes light up with glee cause that's the thing you've been searching for so long. It comes with two controllers along with the adapter and tv cable. You ask the uncle how much it costs. He says $15. Then you say, 'Ten ar uncle.' And he says alright.

So you leave happily knowing you've got what you came for.

You reach home. You hook the thing up. And guess what? It doesn't work. And you realised you just threw $10 down the drain. You try to fix it. It works. But you realise you forgot to get the cartridges. So you hurry to game shop across the street hoping to maybe get a good deal on a cartridge.

You reach the shop. There were tons of games. The thing is, each costs $10. But it didn't matter to you. What's another $10 huh? So you decided to get one first.

You reach home again. You put the cartridge in. Unfortunately, it doesn't fit. Cos the console you bought was the Japanese edition and the cartridge is a US one. You slump into the chair realising you just spent $20 for nothing. All the rush and hype, all gone.

Had a dream the night before. At first I thought it was a good thing. But then I realised it wasn't. Things change, people change, what surrounds you change. Yet, you stay true to your morals but where does it get you? Nowhere. So there you are, going around in circles hoping for something to happen (which isn't most likely to) like a freaking idiot only to realise you've gained nothing.

Yes. They say dreams are reflections of your subconscious. It's all in your head you might say. But now I ask, why is it there? Why?

If you have the answer, tell me.

This was written at 12:11 am on Friday, March 10

-= and you know what? =-

Have you ever felt like part of you has died?

I think a big part of me just did. It's a really sad thing though. Just imagine, something big in your life just disappear like that. Poof.

Along the misty moors I walk,
Looking for the being that once was,
And against the rocks I call my castle,
I lean and stare across the barren fields,
And wonder, if there is still life,
If there is still hope,
If you are still there.

This was written at 11:10 am on Thursday, March 9

-= keepers of silent earth =-

I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering
among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through
the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet
slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth.

-Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

This was written at 3:28 pm on Wednesday, March 8

-= stereotype me =-

Catharsis, Latin from the Greek Katharsis 'purification', is a sudden emotional breakdown or climax that constitutes overwhelming feelings of great pity, sorrow, laughter, or any extreme change in emotion that results in the renewal, restoration and revitalization for living.

Catharsis is a form of emotional cleansing first defined by the Greek philosopher Aristotle. It refers to the sensation, or literary affect, that would ideally overcome an audience upon finishing watching a tragedy. The fact that there existed those who could suffer a worse fate than them was to them a relief, and at the end of the play, they felt ekstasis (literally, astonishment), from which the modern word exstasis and ecstacy are derived. While seemingly related to schadenfreude, it is not, however, in the sense that the audience is not intentionally led to feel happy in light of others' misfortunes; in an invariant sense, their spirits are refreshed through having greater appreciation for life.

In literary aesthetics catharsis is developed by the conjuction of stereotyped characters and unique or suprising actions. Throughout a play we do not expect the nature of a character to change significantly, rather pre-existing elements are revealed in a relatively straight-forward way as the character is confronted with unique actions in time. This can be clearly seen in Oedipus Rex where King Oedipus is confronted with more and more outrageous actions until emptying generated by the death of his mother-wife and his act of self-blinding. As a literary affect, catharsis should be compared with the equivalent affects for epic and poetic forms of kairosis and kenosis.

In contemporary aesthetics catharsis may also refer to any emptying of emotion experienced by an audience in relation to drama. This exstasis can be perceived in comedy, melodrama and most other dramatic forms. Deliberate attempts, on political or aesthetic bases, to subvert the structure of catharsis in theatre have occurred. For example, Bertold Brecht viewed catharsis as a pap for the bourgeois theatre audience, and designed dramas which left significant emotions unresolved, as a way to force social action upon the audience. In Brecht's theory, the absence of a cathartic resolving action would require the audience to take political action in the real world in order to fill the emotional gap they experience.

This was written at 2:26 pm on Tuesday, March 7

-= oblivion =-

And there is only so much one can take before one starts to ask, 'Why?'

Am I being sucked into this black hole again?

I feel like it though.

Bleeding a pool a shape of a heart.

I can never be open again.

This was written at 2:25 am on Sunday, March 5

-= see to the crypt will you? =-

House of Usher is a nice movie. Vincent Price gave a really good potrayal of Roderick Usher. Argh.. He just oozes evil.

Walked all the way from Upper Seranggoon all the way to Seng Kang yesterday. Saw the moon. It was like, there. Right smack in front. I still can see clouds at night. Why can't people see them?

Somehow I feel a bit different with every passing day. Hmmm...

Sleep not, dream not; this bright day
Will not, cannot last for aye;
Bliss like thine is bought by years
Dark with torment and with tears.

-Emily Bronte

This was written at 6:15 pm on Saturday, March 4

-= HIM anyone? =-

In worlds so hollow,
It's breaking my heart.

Do you know the feeling of wanting to be there but you feel like you're probably not supposed to be there?

It's hard trying to make everyone happy. No doubt. What am I afraid of?

I don't know.

This was written at 1:59 am on

-= how much or how? =-

What do you want?

This was written at 12:39 pm on Thursday, March 2